美帝药丸！美国腹语大师制作的“拜登”荒诞发布会，11分钟爆笑还原混乱不堪的现场！（附视频&对话稿）
英语演讲视频，第一时间观看
话说，拜登在入主白宫以后，因为多次在公开场合出现一系列令人担忧的举动，一直被美国舆论怀疑有老年痴呆症。而更让全球网民感到尴尬的是他的新闻发布会，即使是看着巨大的提词器，都会出现各种口误。
更不用说，让他来回答来自记者的犀利提问，有的时候被问得一脸问号脸，有的时候直接跟记者乱打太极，顾左右而言他。而最近由于阿富汗局势的失败应对，他的新闻发布会直接变成了自说自话，直接没有给记者们提问的机会。
为了让广大网友们重温拜登的发布会尬事，美国腹语大师Jeff Dunham制作了一期11分钟的高能记者发布会，把“睡王”拜登的尴尬本色演绎得淋漓尽致，提问记者中更有“懂王”冒充记者各种提问，场面真是混乱不堪，又令人捧腹大笑！
↓↓↓ 上下滑动，查看对话稿 ↓↓↓
- Told Cuomo once, I told him a thousand times, sniff don't touch. What? Why are you pointing at me? I didn't do it.
- You're on.
- I'm on? I'm on what? Oh, oh, I'm on, right. Good afternoon. Morning, evening! I don't know. Trump sucks. Vote for me, Joe, your next president.
- [Man] President Biden, you're already president.
- I am? I am, I am! I knew that. Welcome to my news conference and welcome to our esteemed press core. They're all here. Wow. What a turn out. Wow, look how giant that text is. Okay, here we go. My fellow Americans, I know many of you have questions regarding our most concerning issues like is COVID a thing? Is the job market stable?
- Or is it a barn?
- Exactly! Also, is Britney still hot or what? Please remember only one question at a time or
- You get confused?
- Well- Or he might have a stroke.
- No! Yes, wait. That's too many questions.
- Wasn't it just one at a time twice?
- What? That's three! Come on, man.
- This is gonna be more fun than I thought.
- Yeah, we should have some popcorn.
- Okay. First question.
- Hey, don't I know you from somewhere?
- Nope, nope, no, you don't.
- You look a lot like Donald Trump
- Shut your cofefe.
- Whatever, but you should've worn a disguise.
- Hmm, not a bad idea.
- Anyone?
- Sir, I have a question.
- And who are you?
- Bubba J from the Trailer Park Tribune and beer daily.
- I didn't know Beer Daily was a publication.
- Oh, it's not, my bad. Beer daily is my hobby. Though my question, your majesty, is even though many of us have been getting stimulated by you.
- You have? I swear, I didn't touch anyone! That was Cuomo.
- No, stimulated by you with your stimulus checks. Will you be stimulating us again with more checks? And when I say us, I mean me, Bubba J.
- Hey man, I like smelling a gal's neck, but sometimes life throws you lemons, next? And who are you?
- I am Don Lemon. That is how you pronounce it. Right? Lemon? Lemon? Who the hell cares?
- Well, you know what they say, when life throws you lemons, make Don Lemonade.
- So was that a yes to my check question?
- If checks and open borders will make you vote for me, then bring me my pen mother (beep).
- This guy is good. Mr. King of the world. I understand your wife went to the Olympics.
- She did? What sport did she play?
- I'm next! I have a question.
- And you are?
- Rachel Maddow, MSNBC. Oh wait. Rachel Maddow, MSNBC.
- Ah, Rachel. Good to have you here, man. What's your question?
- I heard the great President Grump is being reinstated back into office soon. How are you going to handle your shame after stealing the election, hmm?
- Look dude, that Grump has a screw loose. He needs to face facts and the facts are he lost the election and he was never president.
- Wait, yes, I was! I mean, I mean he was and I didn't. He didn't. Ugh.
- Next question. How about my old friend from The Daily Beer?
- Hey, I heard you signed an executive order to wipe out student debt, but you won't sign anything to wipe out my bar tab. Isn't that a little (beep) up?
- You can't say (beep).
- Well one time you said (beep).
- Yeah, that was great. Wasn't it?
- I miss Billy (beep). He got hosed.
- Excuse me.
- Yes, your excellency?
- Next question. Who are you? Opinionated celebrity and political expert, Joy Behar.
- Yes, Miss Behar?
- My question is how do we combat rigged elections and voter fraud like we had last time?
- By making sure everyone gets to vote, including those folks who are dead. It's not their fault they're dead and they should still have a say. And like I always said, even six feet underground, their votes will keep me crowned.
- (gasps) Our president can even rap! I love this guy so much!
- I see we still have more questions out there. Let's go with someone we haven't heard from. You.
- Hi, I'm Chris Cuomo. You may have heard of me or my brother, eh, oh no, not him. No, not him. I am an only child. Always been an only child, yes.
- Hey, your brother just quit. He used to be like Teflon.
- Now he's more like aluminum siding.
- Funny, that's a good one. Okay. Who are you again?
- Not Chris Cuomo. I meant, Geraldo, Fox News.
- Good to have you, Geraldo. And by the way, I don't care what team you play on. In Biden's America, you can be whoever you want. I'm the president, but sometimes, I'm a little old lady who lived in your shoe who had so many children I didn't know what to do. Does that answer your question?
- I didn't ask one.
- I got a question. I think some folks are still confused on when to wear masks. So can you clear that one up for us? (chuckles) Good luck with this.
- If you've had the vaccine, then you're protected, but you should still wear a mask indoors.
- But I'm protected.
- Yes, but you could still get it.
- Then why did I get the vaccine?
- To protect everyone else.
- But I can still spread COVID after having the vaccine?
- That's right.
- But I can't get sick.
- No, no. You can still catch COVID.
- Then why did I get the vaccine?
- To reduce the symptoms.
- So I won't die?
- No comment.
- But I thought that's why I got the shot.
- Exactly.
- So the vaccine isn't working then?
- Oh no, it works great. Just be sure to wear a mask or three because the virus can mutate.
- But the vaccine stops the virus from mutating?
- Definitely not.
- I'm confused.
- That's what we're looking for. Kamala, you taking notes? 'Cause that's how it's done.
- Doh, can I ask another question?
- I think you're a Republican sympathizer, so no. Next?
- But!
- Hey, over here! Sean Hannity, Fox News. And you're getting sleepy. I have a question. What's going on at the border?
- I haven't a clue.
- [Man] What do you mean you haven't a clue?
- Hold on. Someone is speaking in my ear. Ziggy. Eh.
- Look into his eye, hear that, look into his eye.
- Gotcha.
- Oh.
- You tell them everything is going just great.
- Going just great! We replaced the wall with a giant slip and slide, so folks can just slide right into our great country. Bringing water with them, and a little COVID. But don't drink the water. It'll make you sick. Okay. Next?
- Pick me! Pick me! I didn't know there were gonna be so many reporters here.
- Good evening, Walter Cronkite.
- Cronkite? Aren't you too old to be working?
- Seriously?
- Oh, right. Hey, I guess I didn't think that one through.
- Mr. President, just what does Kamala Harris do?
- What does she do? A lot.
- Such as?
- You kidding me? What does she do? Well, she's the first female.
- The first female? Wow, that's big.
- The first 50/50 raced vice president in our history. So that's what she does. I mean, am I right?
- Walter Cronkite, wow. You know a lot of folks watching this video won't get that reverence?
- So what? Vote Grump in 2024.
- There are some reporters who haven't had a chance. How about you?
- Greg Gutfeld, the Greg Gutfeld Show. Now that we've pulled out of Afghanistan for good, looks like the Taliban is back in the hood.
- I'm not a fan of pulling out.
- Yikes.
- Next?
- Hi, I have a question. I'm Chelsea Handler. Thanks for the wig.
- Yes, Miss Handler, what can I do for you?
- When you give a speech on your Joe Pro 2020, is it always the first time you're seeing your speech?
- The thing in my ear's screaming no, but yeah, it's always new to me. Heck, most of the time I'll learn a bunch of stuff I've never heard about when I give a speech. Okay. Ooh, okay, the next hottie.
- Hi, Laura Ingram from Fox News. My question is why is the great Ronald Grump always being targeted for witch hunts by the lib turds? I mean, Democrats?
- Hey, I'll make you deal. Let me sniff your hair and I'll see what I can do to ease up on him.
- Really? Okay. You can sniff my hair.
- I think this press conference is over.
- Ah, hints of oak and kitten blanket.
- Yeah, you can keep that.
- Little shoe horn in there. Oh. Hey, hang on to this for my nap. Well, good press conference. Thank you all for coming. Let's try to leave in an orderly fashion. God bless the United States of America and Mexico, our new state.
- He's not an autobot.
- He's a Decepticon. Oh, that reminds me. We forgot to ask him about rising gas prices.
- So sad.
- Him?
- No, that I'm the smartest one here.
想第一时间接收英文演讲视频？把“精彩英文演讲”设置为星标就对了！操作办法就是：进入公众号——点击右上角的●●●——找到“设为星标”点击即可。